World Wide Electro

The spiritual sequel to World Wide Metal is here, this time plugging out of amps and into computers, honey. This electro is not the kind of shit you'd consider dancing to without copious amounts of narcotics, but whatever - this is IDM bitch, you listen to this shit and you wanna read a BOOK, cuz it's Intelligent Dance Music. That's right...music your BRAIN can dance to! Yeah, I know, pompous as fuck, but what it implies is "music for the sake of music" - not "grinding of heathen hips and blowjobs in a dirty bathroom".
But yeah, yadda yadda, techno shit basically, some fast, some really fast, some super fucking fast and like two mellow ones. But in all honesty, I haven't slept for a day, and the only thing keeping me alive at this point is a bunch of crazy fucking noise people call IDM, so hey...payin' respects. I'm so tired, I don't give a shit about shit. I see someone posted not too long ago, and here I am, stealing thunder. Do I give two fucks about shit? No. I could fight a cop right now.

WORLD WIDE ELECTRO (BUT NOT ELECTRO ELECTRO...ELECTRO ELECTRO!)

Reppin' England
SQUAREPUSHER

Before you ask why I didn't use Aphex Twin or Autechre, I'll punch you in the mouth. Even if you weren't gonna ask, I'll still punch you in the mouth just in case. Look, even my grandma knows Aphex Twin kicks ass, he's pretty much the poster boy for the IDM/breakcore scene, and Autechre, well, they're like the granddaddy of anything fast and electric, so I can't really plug them in here. Fuck, even Squarepusher is way too fucking popular for this post to be surprising, but cut me some slack...my computer is overheating from all this Internet piracy, so I'm just gonna work with what I have. Squarepusher it is then! Why? Cuz he's fucking crazy. Listen to "The Exploding Psychology".

Reppin' America
WISP

Judging by the piece I want to show you, you'd think they'd be repping Scotland. But no. They won't...stupid. They're Yanks, and they do some crazy shit. Their stuff is fast paced, although not as agressive as some other ones I wanna show you. Energized and definitely quite colorful, Wisp are a sick, sick group to listen to when you feel like you're about to hit the floor cuz shit's getting blurry from all that lack of sleep. They're like a caffeine injection, right in your stupid ear. Listen to "Beadumaegen".

Reppin' Canada
VENETIAN SNARES

Holy fuck, Canada, when'd you get balls this big? Venetian Snares hits you like a fist made out of bricks and rape, and it hurts so good. This guy shovels out some heavy beats and they're so sexy, they'll probably get you pregnant, then beat you a lot cuz you'll never be as cool as Venetian Snares. Seriously fast paced crazy ass mammojam bullshit that's essential for anyone who one day wants to die from an overdose and have a fitting soundtrack to do so. In the best sense possible, of course. Also, this guy really, REALLY hates Winnipeg. Listen to "Winnipeg Is A Frozen Shithole".

Reppin' Scotland
BOARDS OF CANADA

Alright, I'm sorry - I know I've been sucking their dicks ten ways to tuesday, but I just wanted to make an example that IDM is not all lightspeed fucking rage music...there's some nice stuff you can show to your mother. I showed BoC to mine and for the first time ever, she looked at the radio like it was actually playing music and not trying to summon the tenth son of Satan. Boards of Canada is my favorite band, yeah, and I know that you know that I know that you know, but fuck you in the ass if you deny me the pleasure of sharing their music with you because you know I'm not socially apt enough to be flirty and way too white to be cool, so eat a dick because the only way I can impress you is by showing you obscure Scottish bands that just happen to kick a lot of ass. Listen to "Dayvan Cowboy".

Reppin' Germany
ULRICH SCHNAUSS

Here's a dude who lives in Germany, which means he was basically bound to make trippy electro shit. It also means he's fairly good at it. Much like a young Norse boy is destined to one day have sex with a decapitated pig's head while playing a double-necked guitar at a legendary death metal concert in Oslo, Mr. Schnauss knows how to kick your ass in 20 different computer languages and does so good. I'll be honest, I just downloaded his shit not too long ago, and I'm really digging it. It's crazy stuff. Listen to "Medusa".

Reppin' Netherlands
KETTEL

Kettel is like that little kid that likes to draw a mustache on your favorite photo of your favorite ex girlfriend that you'll never, ever be over; innocent in his approach, deviant in his delivery. Anyone who belongs to the IDM genre must have a twisted sense of humour. This is a must. If Jandek could work a computer, he'd play IDM. Instead, he just awkwardly strums his guitar and gives you nightmares. (I love Jandek.)
Kettel is much like Jandek. But not really. At all. Kettel is a boyish little IDM musician who plays a "Sims" variant of IDM...but IDM, nonetheless, which means he must've been at least partially fueled by some demons from the Nether Realms...holy shit, NETHERlands! See!? Told you, man. I told you. Either way, Kettel is cool beans and he would definitely be my homie if he wasn't so busy being successful and talented. Listen to "Pinch of Peer".

That's all. Peace.