A little intellectual dick in the ass.

I mean kick. Kick in the ass. Anyways, this is Kris, also known as Wet Floor, because caution: when I walk in, all the girls get wet and hit the floor. That's right. And because I'm so fucking magnificent, I will spin this motherfucking blog 180 degrees with a single thrust of my brawny, sun-kissed beef. Mmm, yeah! This blog is not about music anymore, or about alcohol (which it was never about), and certainly not about hairy Serbians or strippers, because fuck that shit. No, it's now about books. Books I read that is. Because everything else is cocks. Big, thick, lubricated cocks.

So, without further ado, I shall now announce what book I'm reading and by whom it was written, with an air of such confidence, you'll think you actually give a shit. Oh, and I'll do it in third person, motherfucker. Haha, bam, bitch! Excuse me while I take off my glasses and gently wipe the lenses with my important clothes, cuz I got all steamy kicking you in the nuts, you worthless philistine.

Kris Gaier is reading "The Tugger" by Alex Hoal; an autobiographical tale of a young, black sailor in the midst of a whole lot of white seamen, as they travel on a military-issue tugboat, The Wet Dutchman, whose destination is an eye-opening revelation that black or white, we're all pink inside. Told through hard-hitting and gripping first-person narrative, this tear-jerker will make you rethink your life and the way you see those around you, and maybe even teach a lost soul or two, just like Hoal taught all 69 of his co-sailors, to not frown just because it's brown. Kris Gaier was eager to join sailor A. Hoal on his rough and rugged journey through pain, discomfort, and ultimately acceptance and ease, as his crewmates finally learned to sail smooth. Kris loved every inch of the book thus far. In fact, he just got done working on the first half of it, and is just itching to get the rest of it inside him...

...balls deep.

- Kris