I'm back and black...ish.

PROLONGED DEADLINE IS TODAY! SEND IN YOUR PICTURES, NOW! WHOEVER HAS THE MOST GRAFFITI WINS!
UPDATE BELOW

‘Sup, dickbags, Vlad here. So, I’m back from sunny-ass Europe, and as if I wasn’t already the holder of the “who’s had the wackiest shit happen to him” award, I come out again to smash my own record. Bear with me from this point on, I’ve been hopping time zones like a motherfucker and literally flew though about twelve breakfasts in twelve different countries in the course of nine hours, so time has been pretty much standing still until I suddenly landed in Canada smack dab in the witching hours. I’ve had such a case of jetlag, I almost shit out my face. My insides are sorta wanting to get out, and I find myself wanting to roam the streets at 6 am, or as I like to call it, motherfucking noon. That’s the sucky part about travel…there’s actually a time zone where when you cross it, you go into yesterday. Holy shit on a bagel.
But yeah, the second I landed, I felt so disoriented and exhausted that I actually had minor hallucinations on the ride back, although the adventures during my vacation might be partly responsible for that. Hopefully, I’ve fixed this problem; I went camping yesterday where I drank myself to death at exactly midnight, so maybe that kicked my ass back in gear. Who knows, we’ll see. Once again, I’ll make this fairly simple and low-tech, so bear with me…and honestly, there’s nothing about this trip that can’t be said in point form.

- I almost unknowingly picked up a Hungarian hooker.
- A priest got me wasted.
- I spent 3 weeks drunk, no joke.
- A girl peed on my shoe and I didn’t have to pay.
- I threw up during the Croatia vs. Germany game. I woke up in the morning in a friend’s house with 5 soccer balls. I later found out that 8 beers wins you a soccer ball…you do the math. (I brought one home!)
- I made out with three girls while their friend took pictures. If you find me on a site, please tell me.
- I was offered a threesome (2girls1vlad). I politely declined FOR SOME FUCKING REASON! I guess I’m not used to the foreign standard of being nice all the time, you rude fucks.
- I played soccer with a bunch of smokers. It went like this: first half was 5 minutes, then our chests started hurting, so we took a 20 minute smoke break, then played for 15 STRAIGHT MINUTES HOLY FUCK! We almost died.
- I took a train to some town, got mega hammered, and had some lady drive me home. I didn’t know her. She was old.
- I realized hitchhiking is not only easy, but awesome. I was joking when I stuck my thumb out, but everyone stopped, and I think everyone was stoned.
- I got to hang out with a communist.
- I accidentally ran into 2 cousins I didn’t know I had.
- I had a gun pulled on me by a drunk guy who wanted to show me how he pulled a gun on someone else.
- I got to meet a shitload of interesting people, and I also saw a portrait of my buddy nude because he poses naked for the art students. It’s actually good money, and all he does is sit.
- I unknowingly walked into a fucking Mafioso bar, where women danced in cages. I just wanted some smokes.
- I nearly got arrested at the Hungarian airport after their x-ray picked up the toy shotgun I was carrying in my bag.
- I hit on way too many 13 year olds. I swear to God, sober as daylight, they still look and act 18. It’s a different world.
- I got to see a cow.

That’s all I can remember right now. It was an exciting time, but now, I’m gonna quickly and unexpectedly switch topics and say that the prolonged deadline for the graffiti is TO-FUCKING-DAY. E-mail me the pictures now or never, this is serious business. 5 bucks, people. 5 bucks. I heard that no one could find all 10, so whoever has the most is the winner.

Love,
VLSL3

UPDATE: I'm disappointed. No one sent me a single photo of the graffiti. I understand that perhaps you were waiting to collect all 10 before sending anything, so I'm willing to forgive that. But if the problem is lack of spirit, then maybe I joined the wrong group. This is the extra-prolonged mercy deadline, three, count it, THREE days after the actual deadline which was Saturday. It's 6 pm, raining like SHIT so I know you got nothing better to do than upload a few pictures. Last call.