WSDT: May 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

5 Dollar Challenge

I'm leaving for Europe in about 4 days. I wanted to leave something for you guys to do while my dick is away.

But first, let me ask you: would you like to win five dollars? Sure it's only five dollars, but here's the catch: there is no catch. All you gotta do is spend a little time exploring. I'm dead serious. In fact, let me explain how it works. I have marked the entire town, far and wide, with 10 tags. That means 10 pieces of WSDT graffiti, not including the one behind the HQ. You know, the one in the alley. There are 10 new ones literally all over the place, and it's your job to find them. I'm gonna post some clues; the first person to find all 10 in one month, starting from right now to July 5th, and mail or email (vlsl3@hotmail.com) me the pictures of the graffiti wins five dollars from my own pocket. That's enough for a sweet-ass pizza sub and a Coke from 7-11. I'll give you one piece of advice: read not only what I wrote, but how I wrote it. Everything on the papers below has a purpose. You won't find them unless you read between the lines.

So if you have free time and could use a few bucks, print out these pages and get on it. Who knows, it might be fun.

And there's one last one I wanna show you. The previous ones are goofy and fun. This one is tough. This one is very tough, but everything on it is relevant to the location. It will take more than a brainstorm to get you there. In fact, it's not even the WSDT logo, it's a personal one. Use the paper as a guide, and if you find it, I'll throw in another prize...and depending on who you are, it may mean more or less.

I suggest you flip all those papers rightside-up for them to look more coherent. Especially the last one.

So, have fun, make sure to bring your cameras and it would really, REALLY help if you brought a car...and also, don't snitch! (as in, on me)

Love,
L.C.

Oh, and remember! If you looselips let slip the locations of any of these tags, you're that much farther from winning the prize. Keep this confidential until the contest is over. And no, you don't have to get the first ten to win the prize for the eleventh. The eleventh (the special one) is a separate adventure.

Hurry up though! I don't think some of them will last...

Monday, May 19, 2008

The Holy Grail of Erotica

So here we are, Myles and I, having fun blasting Marc M. dialogues through the microphone on Xbox Live, when suddenly I get a call from a friend. He invites us over to play poker, so we abandon our quest to piss off random wankers on Halo 3 in order to spend some quality “dude time” bonding with him. The meeting was at another friend’s house, where we spent an hour playing cards and talking about titties. After we finished up, the friend whose apartment we were in says he wants to show us something. Being proud of his roots, this particular friend takes us on a tour of his domicile, exhibiting his many Irish/Scottish themed décor, including badges, flags and a hammer Scots used specifically for bar-fighting. This pleased me. I was enjoying myself enough as it was, but then this friend of ours goes on to point out a large cardboard box saying “that I plan to throw away, though.” We looked at it, and nudged it with our feet. It was heavy. Really heavy. Was it a BIGGER bar hammer? Fuck, I hope so. “What is it?” I asked, my voice giddy. He looked around his room, admiring his own collection of Gaelic memorabilia, as he replied in the most nonchalant tone ever: “porn.”

Say huh now?

I didn’t want to open the box. He was fucking with us. I picked it up as it was. I’m no expert at gauging weight, but I’d say it was about 10 tons. Myles is better at this than me, though, and his final answer is 60 lbs. That’s still a lot of porn. I go “you’re shitting me, right?” He goes “no, open it.” Part of me really wanted to, but another part of me was convinced it was a starved bobcat. He was yanking my proverbial cock, this couldn’t be porn. This weighs more than I do. It was a tough lie to swallow, but damn my manly genes for not being able to resist. I tore that box open like it was Christmas, and holy fuck, he wasn’t lying. I was like “dude, don’t throw this away!” These were some class magazines. The pages didn’t even stick together. And considering half the ads in each magazine had a “chicks with dicks” phone line, we knew we were dealing with the mother lode of filth. This is what the government spends money to keep out of circulation. That is what serial killers on death row request as their final pleasure. This is what would get you burned at the stake 300 years ago. This was the shit. I pretty much came right then and there.

“Why the fuck are you throwing this out, man?” For a second, I thought I was dealing with one of those reformed guys who tattoo “don’t do it!” on their favorite hand as to keep them for rubbing one out. I don’t like those people. Hell I’ve jacked off about 9 times since I started writing this. But what he said next was probably the most awesome thing ever: “I’m downsizing.” This means that somewhere under the bagpipes and claymores and kilts is another, slightly smaller, perhaps 40 lb. box of porn. I seriously love this guy.

He goes to us “you guys want it?” I didn’t say anything. In fact, before he even finished that sentence, Myles and I were at the back of my car, stuffing it into my trunk. Then we decided to keep it in Myles’ house, because he has an awesome basement no one goes into unless we're super suspicious. Unfortunately, Myles also has two overly happy dogs that jumped on us as soon as we walked in, made a horrible noise and attracted his mother. We managed to make it seem like it was, you know, not a giant fucking box of porn, but eventually she peeked in and found out it was indeed a giant fucking box of porn. It was kinda funny, I mean, everyone’s mom sometimes finds a dirty picture or a magazine under their bed or something like that. That’s normal. But imagine finding 60 lbs. worth of smutty mags in a large cardboard box. Man, if Myles gets sent into therapy because of this, I’m gonna laugh so hard, I’ll shit myself.

Anyways, that’s the story of how we have the largest stash of porn in Leamington. It’s as if it found us, knowing how nice we’d treat it and knowing how much love we’d give it. If anyone wants to admire it, please get in line. We have half of Canada giving arms and legs just to touch the rim of the box.

I was gonna take a picture. But then I realized that wouldn’t be such a great idea.

Love,
Winds - er, Leamington Crew

NOFX- My Vagina
Mickey Avalon- My Dick
Sebastien Tellier- Sexual Sportswear (SebastiAn Remix)
Snoop Dogg- Sexual Eruption
Snoop Dogg- Sexual Eruption (Boys Noize Remix)

Monday, May 12, 2008

Mixtape Monday 5 "Count It"

Some peeps have been buggin' me to post this for awhile, it's the Count of Monte Cristal (aka Hervé aka Voodoo Chilli aka Josh Harvey...it goes on) and Sinden's BBC essential mixtape. There's a whackload of these and the BBC only enlists the top artists (Justice, Diplo etc.) but from everything I've heard this one bounces the most. Enjoy;

The Count of Monte Cristal & Sinden's Essential Mix

Tracklist:

Snoop Dogg - Sensual Seduction
Enur - Calabria (club mix)
Pitbull feat Lil Jon - The Anthem
South Rakkas - Mad Again
Plastic Little - Jump Off
Kid Sister feat Kanye West - Pro Nails
Tragic and Anastasia - Feelin Horny
Spank Rock and Benny Blanco - BOOTAY
Soulja Boy - Crank That
Dude And Dem - Watch My Feet
Kid Sister feat Gantman - Switchboard
Santogold - Creator
Benga and Coki - Night
Rusko - Cockney Thug
Hench - 3K Out
Burial - Archangel
MJ Cole - Sincere
Estelle - Wait A Minute (Just A Touch) (Count and Sinden remix)
Se Sa feat Sharon Phillips - I Like It Like This (Count and Sinden remix)
Ron Carrol - Nike Spinnin (Count and Sinden remix)
The Soft Tigers - Ice Cream (Waxmasters remix)
Count and Sinden feat Kid Sister - Beeper
Alphabeat - Fascination (Count and Sinden remix)
Toddla T feat Serocee - Inna Da Dancehall (Count and Sinden remix)
No Requests - Heartbroken
Juiceboxx and Dre Skull - Centre Stage
DJ Technics - Computer Madness
Tameil - Trans Newark Express
DJ Class - Next To You
Fake Blood - Theme
The Touch - Maximization Nation (Trevor Loveys remix)
Action Man (aka Herve) feat Trevor Loveys - Beat Bang
Machines Dont Care - Take It To The Club
Count Of Monte Cristal vs DJ Funk - Bounce That Ass - Cheap Thrills
Tittsworth feat Kid Sister and Pace - WTF
Bondo Do Role - Gasolina (Fake Blood remix)
Herve - Deep House
Machines Dont Care - Afro Jacker
Brick N Lace - Switch (remix)
Action Man (aka Herve) - Alarm Bell
Machines Dont Care - Drop The Lime and Herve Are Secret Agents
Voodoo Chilli - Streetplayers
Voodoo Chilli feat Trevor Loveys - All I Need
Fake Blood - Mars
Detboi - Come Rest Up
Chrome Hoof - Tonight (Count Of Monte Cristal ghetto sax remix)
Count Of Monte Cristal and Sinden feat Kid Sister - Beeper (Detboi remix)
Dead Soul Brothers - Blessed

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Dean Strickland

This is for Dean. The guy at the party with no shirt. He dances, he drinks, he does his thing. Yeah, it's a bit gay, but we still like him. This is for you, Dean:

*THIS JUST IN*

Dean says: "I need fucking music up there. I will kill myself."
Adam says: "True....trueeee."
Dean says: "Like im bringing my laptop but i can only charge that in bear's vagina outlets."

I was going to add more pictures, but Blogspot is being lame, so I'm just going to add quips and comments from all your friends Dean. Despite what may be written here, we still like you.

Allison tells us this great story: "ok so last saturday when dean was drunk at the kegger, on the way home he stopped at some store and bought a lottery ticket...only he didnt realise he had done this...so the next day he looked in his wallet and there was a lettery ticket for 22 million and he started coming up with what he could do with the money...this is all he could come up with:

"The first thing i'd do is get a sex change so i could have sex with myself...then when i got bored i'd change back...cause fuck i have so much money"

this is prob not funny...but it is to me cause its just so dean...and it supports the thoery that hes gay"

Wow Allison. Wow.

Kris says "I knew Dean was gay the day he told me he likes to masturbate to the movie Hairspray."

Dana's favorite Dean quote is "There wasn't really any room for you, but I suppose you could sit on my lap."

Justin says "Dean likes to give rimjobs...just like Kris." To that, I (Kris) say "I love donuts, what else can I say?"

Brain says "Dean's not going to Thunderbay, he's going to jail for a little while."

Dana also says "Sorry for grabbing your face, and making your eyes water with your unibrow hairs." A unibrow, really Dean?

Joe says "You're fucking useless."

Alex L says "Yo Dean, stay off of the muscle juice." More like man juice.

Adam says "Wednesday, Dean called every girl in his phone explaining the dollar burger was a dollar fifty...not only did he sleep alone that night, he also overpayed for his burger which was awful at best."

Alex F says " The odds of Dean going to Thundergay are a million to one." Well guess what Alex I like those odds and I put a dime down on him leaving... calculate that shit.

Vlad says: "When Dean leaves, I will be flaccid until further notice."

Kris's Mom says "I saw Dean at Subway today. He paid for his sub with his Visa. Does he have a job?"

This is all for now. If anyone wishes to add something after it's been posted you can message me and I'll get it up A.S.A.P. Until then, enjoy Dean while you have him.
Also, if by chance, Dean is eaten by a bear, or several mosquitoes at once, he would like to have Joe inherit all his shit and Foran inherit his debt.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Mixtape Monday: And God Said...

...Don't be Stressin', here are the motherfuckingphotos. Commandment 18:

Many thanks to Mr. Kanye West who decided to leak this for everyone...It's the unofficial-official video for stress and be warned it's full of hooliganism, although, I suppose that's right down our alley. Justice-Stress (Directed by Romain Gavras)
(Click the links above to dl the mpeg version)